A New Husband
by Baroness Emma
Summary: Pepper makes a request. Tony is. . . reluctant.


**A/N** - Please note that this is categorized as Humor. I _promise_ it isn't what it sounds like. (^_^)

Enjoy!

* * *

**A New Husband**

"You want me to WHAT?"

"Well, we're married now, Tony," Pepper pouted a little, "I don't think it's an unreasonable request."

Tony's face still registered shock, and a little bit of uncertainty - but not enough to imply fear. . . he hoped. . . "I. . . I can't believe you want me to. . . . . . Pepper, it's just that I've never had any complaints before, and - "

"_No_ complaints, Tony?"

He grimaced, "Well, maybe a _few_, back when I was younger, but ever since. . . well. . . I . . . I just thought. . ." Unbelievably, Tony blushed a little, "I thought most women _liked_. . ."

"And I do," she said, smirking shamelessly at him, "I _really_ do. I'm not complaining. _At all_."

"So, why. . .?"

"I just want see what it would be like. With you. Without it."

"But. . . Pep. . ." He took a deep breath, "I just _can't _believe you want me to. . . cut. . . it. . ."

"I don't want you to. _I_ want to do it."

He went a little pale, "And what, exactly, am I going to do if it doesn't grow back?"

She snorted, "Stop being silly, Tony, you'll just make yourself a brilliantly designed prosthesis, and then patent it and make another ten billion dollars." She planted her hands on her hips, "Can you name me one man who _wouldn't_ want an electrically powered - "

"OKAY! Okay. . ." He sighed, trying not to whimper, "Just let me get used to the idea for a minute, okay?"

"We've been arguing for over a minute, Tony."

"But I wouldn't say I'm any more used to the thought than I was when you brought this up. . ." He ran his fingers across his temples, "Please, please, _please_ remember that _you_ brought this up."

"I remember."

"Do you know anyone - any man - who would do this? I mean, at my age. . ."

She snorted, "You're far from old, Tony, and my father did this when he emigrated."

"Really?"

"Yep, he said it made him more American and less British."

"But no less a man, right?"

She burst out laughing, "Tony, you and your delusional self-importance! Of _course _it didn't make my father less of a man - _I was born after he emigrated_."

"So, your mom liked him that way."

"You bet she did."

He paused, and considered.

"Can you tell me _why_ you want this - beyond the whole "new frontiers" thing, I mean?"

She sat down next to him on the workshop couch, leaned into him, and traced the lines of his face with the backs of her fingers, "It kind of complicated, but when you get right down to it, I guess I just want a new husband."

"We've only been married for six months, Pep."

"Mmmhmm," she hummed and kissed him softly, "And I've been by your side, loyal and true, for how long?"

"Eleven years, eight months, three weeks, tomorrow," he mumbled slightly, his mouth more occupied in kissing her back.

"Right. So." She ran the tip of a finger along his lips, "I feel it's time for a change - just a little one."

He laughed a hard, quiet little laugh, "Kind of a bigger change than you might think, Pep. You don't _have_ one, after all."

"No, but I know _all_ about yours."

He smirked, "True. . ."

"And believe me, it's important to me. I'll be careful."

"You'd better be. . ."

"Is that a yes?"

He sighed. "It's reluctant, but it's a yes, yes."

She jumped up from the couch, _way_ more excited about this than she should have been, in his opinion. She quickly located the little device - which _he_ had designed, he thought ruefully - that she needed and turned it on, experimentally.

The buzz it made was _extremely_ menacing. Why had he never thought that buzzing was a dangerous sound before now?

"So, you want to do this here, or over on the EKG machine?" she asked.

"EKG machine," he said, jumping up and retreating to the safety of the medical corner of the workshop, "That way if something goes wrong, you have things around you that can stop the blood."

She crossed her arms, following him, "You are blowing this _way_ out of proportion. . ."

"I'm me, Pep - it's what I do," he sat on the edge of the EKG machine, looking very unhappy.

"And I'm here to cut you down to size. . ."

"Metaphors _NOT _helping here, Pepper."

She held back some serious giggles, "Sorry baby."

She ran a hand down his face once more, and turned on the device again.

It was uncomfortable, but not nearly as bad as he had feared, and she didn't draw _any_ blood - quite impressive, actually.

She wiped him off, then lent forward and kissed his now smooth chin.

"Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to see you without a beard, Mr. Stark?"

He shook his head, "Not my name, Miss Potts - I thought you wanted a _new_ husband. . ." He buried his face in her neck and blew. When she shrieked and pulled away, he caught her with his hands on her sides.

His eyes gleamed wickedly.

"My name's Anthony, and I'm just going to have to find new ways to tickle you. . ."

Two hours later, he had found three ticklish spots on her that he hadn't known about before. She didn't complain.

She liked this new husband just fine.

_fin_


End file.
